Pause (ROCK HARD Book 2) Read online

  “Fuck, you’re beautiful,” I breathed against her mouth.

  “I need you,” she whispered.

  A zing of desire shot down my spine.

  I looked around and realized our choices were limited.

  “Bus?” I asked.

  “Yes.”

  I grabbed her hand and pulled her through the club and out the back door to where the bus had parked for the night. Our driver tended to wander during the show and it looked like we were in luck—she was gone.

  “How much time do we have?” she asked as I pulled us onto what I considered my bunk. We all had tiny, but separate areas on the bus to relax. There were too many of us to actually stretch out or get any comfortable sleep, but at least we could have a bit of privacy on the days when we traveled eight or ten hours.

  “About thirty minutes.” I pulled at her top. “Off.”

  She wiggled out of her top and shorts in five seconds flat and stood there in nothing but a strapless bra and white thong.

  “All of it,” I whispered, unzipping my pants.

  “What if someone comes?” she asked, glancing around.

  “No one will see us behind the curtain and we’ll hear them…”

  She unsnapped her bra and slid down her panties. She brought her hands up to cup her breasts, meeting my gaze without hesitation.

  “I get so wet every time I think about you being inside of me.”

  9

  Lindsay

  Having Stu kiss me back in the club was all the encouragement I’d needed. I’d been working so hard the last month, I deserved a little fun and if it came wrapped in the guitar-playing package that was Stu, all the better. Normally I was shy about sex, mostly because of my body image insecurities, but Stu had already seen it all. Even though this was nothing but sex, he knew what to expect, so there was nothing for me to be self-conscious about.

  He’d already pulled out a condom and sheathed himself, so I straddled his lap and sank down on his cock without hesitation.

  “Bloody hell, lass…” He groaned, his head falling back as his hands cradled my hips.

  “I love when you call me lass,” I murmured, leaning forward to kiss the underside of his jaw. “And why am I the only one naked?”

  He lifted his head and smiled, reaching up to pull off his T-shirt. “Better?”

  “Yes.” I leaned down lower and lightly bit one of his nipples, scraping my teeth against the tip.

  “That’s it. More.”

  I bit down harder and he thrust up at the same time. We both groaned and it was like a dam burst. We lost control, going at it like we were competing for something; who could kiss more, touch more, fuck more. There were no words to describe the level of intensity as he punched up into me over and over, and I dug my fingers into his hair, his biceps, his skin. At one point, he was going at me so hard, we fell off the bunk and wound up half on the floor, half tangled up in each other. I wasn’t sure who came first, but it felt like someone set me on fire as I exploded around him, in the very best of ways.

  As reality slowly came back, and I could breathe again, I became acutely aware of our awkward, uncomfortable position and chuckled as I wiggled beneath him.

  “I think I’m losing all the feeling in my left leg,” I said.

  “Aye.” He shifted and got to his feet, reaching down to help me up. Then he pulled me onto his lap as we settled on the seat and I nestled against his chest.

  “You realize you’re going to ruin me for all other men,” I muttered.

  He didn’t respond, which made sense considering our relationship, but I didn’t care. Obviously he could have slept with any number of women tonight and he’d chosen me. I didn’t know why and right now it didn’t matter, but I was sticking to my earlier resolve not to pretend to be someone I’m not. He really was going to ruin me for all other men and the idea of playing coy by not admitting it was silly. He was leaving in the morning no matter what I did or didn’t say, but I had no expectations, so I had nothing to lose.

  “I was telling the truth when I said I’ve thought about kissing you many times since we saw each other last,” he said after a moment. He was holding me, his hands warm against my skin.

  “You had my number,” I said quietly.

  “Aye. I did.” He kissed the top of my head. “I can’t be what you need me to be, Lindsay.”

  “What do I need you to be?” I asked curiously, not moving, barely daring to breathe as I realized this was as close as I might get to having him open up to me.

  “A man who isn’t a felon. A man who doesn’t have a black cloud hanging over him for the rest of his life. A man who could be someone’s other half. You’re smart and beautiful and about to do amazing things with your legal career. Having someone like me in your life would only hurt you. Trust me on this, Lindsay. I’ve learned the hard way. My own parents have distanced themselves.” He looked away, as if he’d said too much, but before I could respond, there was a pounding on the door of the bus.

  “If you’re in there, Stu, get your pants on and let’s go!” Sasha yelled. “You’ve got five minutes to get out here before I come in.”

  “Christ, what time is it?” He sat up and grabbed a paper towel from the rack next to his bunk. He cleaned up as best he could while I yanked my clothes back on.

  “Tell me the truth,” I said to him. “How bad is my hair?”

  He cocked his head. “You’ve definitely just had a shag.”

  “Crap.” I started smoothing it down but he caught my hand and gently combed his fingers through it, stroking and arranging as if he did this all the time.

  “There.” He smiled. “As beautiful as ever.”

  “Thank you.” Since he probably wasn’t even going to talk to me after the show, I leaned up and kissed him. Softly, letting my lips linger on his. This would have to last me a lifetime and it was going to be so hard to forget what it felt like to be with him.

  “Maybe this should be the last time,” he said quietly. Right on cue.

  “You’re right.” I nodded. “No point getting attached, right? And anyway, I don’t have time for anything but the bar exam. Studying is kicking my ass.”

  “Yeah?” He started asking me questions about what I was studying, as if we hadn’t just fucked each other’s brains out, completely changing the subject as we walked back into the club.

  He took off a few minutes later and I went to get another glass of prosecco. This particular club carried my favorite brand so it was a nice change from the white wine I normally wound up drinking. I headed backstage to see what was going on and found it packed with people.

  “There you are!” Lexi came hurrying over to me. “Where did you disappear to?”

  “I was at the bar,” I said, holding up my drink.

  “Well, anyway, there’s someone I want you to meet.” She led me over to a petite brunette with a pixie haircut. “This is Madeline Aronson, one of the best entertainment attorneys in the industry. She represented Ariel and helped her get the conservatorship she’d been under dissolved. She’s in town handling something else and decided to come surprise us since she represents Random Hart Records anyway.”

  “Nice to meet you.” I held out my hand.

  “Lexi says you’re about to take the bar,” Madeline said. “Congratulations.”

  “Thank you. This is the first night off I’ve had in over a month.”

  “That’s the only way to do it.”

  “I have to join the guys for a quick preshow meeting,” Lexi said, “so I’ll leave you two to chat.”

  “So do you know what kind of law you’d like to practice?”

  “Mergers and acquisitions?”

  She cocked her head. “Are you asking me or telling me?”

  I chuckled self-consciously. “I guess I’m starting to question myself because every time I say it, people tell me how boring that sounds.”

  “Everything in law has elements that are boring, but you have to be passionate about the work yo
u’re doing, the cases you’re taking. Did you clerk at all?”

  “I did, and that’s the type of work we did. It was boring but lucrative.”

  “As is what I do.” Her eyes glittered. “Listen, you don’t know me from Adam, but Lexi says you’re a little conflicted about where you’re going to work after you take the bar. If you’d like to talk, this is my personal cell.” She handed me a card. “Call me next week when you need a break from studying and let’s talk about some options. Maybe I can make some calls for you, open a few doors.”

  “Oh, that’s very kind.” I stuffed her card in my small cross-body purse. “Thank you. I’ll take you up on it.”

  “Now, let’s go enjoy a little rock and roll. I love these guys…” She moved toward the hallway and I followed curiously. I wasn’t sure what we had to talk about, but any time I could chat with a lawyer as well-known and successful as Madeline, I’d take advantage of it. I’d known who she was long before she took Ariel’s case last winter. She was a legend to some of my law professors, who’d talked about her incessantly. I just didn’t know how I would ever get into the world of entertainment law. And there wasn’t much need for it in Minneapolis. There were probably one or two firms who did that kind of thing here, but it was the exception, not the rule.

  You had to live in California or New York for those types of firms, at least the successful ones, and I didn’t. Nor could I afford to move to either of those places. Not to mention that I was currently studying for the Minnesota bar exam, which meant this was where I had to practice.

  Right?

  I was very confused all of a sudden and wondered what my best friend was up to. Had she arranged for me to meet Madeline? There was no time to think about it as the band took the stage. Normally I hung back, but tonight I wanted to be right in the thick of things and I pushed my way to the front. Stu played on the right side of the stage, so I set myself up where I’d be able to see him. I was okay with walking away from this sexual attraction between us because I’d been burned enough times to have zero interest in guys who were emotionally unavailable.

  The sex part of it was something that would be hard to find elsewhere—I’d never seen anyone hung like Stu and probably never would again—but I had no doubt I’d eventually find someone who loved me and wanted to make a life together. Stu was my teenage fantasy come to life, but I was a grown woman with a lot of important decisions to make in the next few months. Worrying about a rock star who couldn’t be what I needed him to be, even though he had no idea what I needed, wasn’t in my plans at all.

  For the next hour, though, I could stand here and gaze up at him adoringly, the way I had as a teenager. I’d memorize every hard line of his spectacular body and then lock those memories up somewhere and throw away the key. I wasn’t the kind of woman who’d chase a guy who didn’t want to get caught, but right now I would allow myself to be mesmerized by the Scottish guitarist on stage. His bright yellow, flying V-style electric guitar always looked almost elegant in his hands, despite the hard rock beat and intricate licks. I loved watching his fingers move over the frets, as if he and the guitar were one. The way his body swayed when he was on stage was reminiscent of the way we made love. Not when we were going at it hard and fast, but when we slowed down and moved together, which was my favorite.

  I sighed and mentally shook my head. I was already ruined for other men and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.

  “How’s it going, Minneapolis? Are we having fun yet?!” Lexi lifted her arms, encouraging the crowd to yell louder, and it surged forward, pushing me against the barricade. It was a rowdy group and I caught the pungent scent of marijuana in the air. I personally didn’t smoke the stuff, but I’d been to enough concerts to recognize and be used to the smell.

  Then Stu had just come out on stage and the woman next to me immediately flung a black bra in his direction.

  Jesus.

  Could women really afford to throw their lingerie at rock stars? The strapless bra I was wearing had cost close to a hundred dollars—with a DD chest like mine, I couldn’t afford to buy cheap bras—and I would never toss it away like that.

  “Anyone here have a ‘Wicked X’?” Lexi called, and they went right into my favorite song.

  It was a bummer that they’d started the show with it since I didn’t have it to look forward to anymore, but that was okay. I had my fist in the air, singing along like the groupie wannabe I was and I had no shame. Stu came toward the edge of the stage and looked down at me, winking before flicking a guitar pick into the crowd. The girl next to me nearly knocked herself out grabbing for it and I had to duck to stay out of her way.

  The crowd got louder and wilder with each song and by the fourth one, which was where Ariel was going to come out and sing “Bedroom Lies” with Lexi, I was practically flattened against the barrier. I felt other people’s sweat against my bare legs and it was kind of gross, but there was nowhere for me to go. Those of us on the floor were wedged in like sardines and until the back of the crowd moved, none of us that were up front were going anywhere.

  Someone stepped on my foot and I cringed, suddenly regretting my decision to come down front. I’d done it dozens of times, since I went to as many concerts as I could afford, but something about tonight was different. There was an overabundance of excitement that had me a little on edge. I came for the music but sometimes things got out of hand. People often clamored for the opportunity to be up front. I’d gotten past the security guys because I had an all-access pass, but now there was surge after surge of fans trying to get closer to the stage.

  A lot of people had signs that said things like, “Take me home tonight, Bash!” Most of the attention was for Bash and Tyler, since they’d been with a platinum-selling band before this and were the most well-known, but I’d just now realized the woman beside me was wearing a Waking Wonder T-shirt. She reached out to try and touch Stu’s boot every time he came to the edge of the stage but he managed to sidestep her.

  I was trying to decide if I could push my way to the back of the crowd and go backstage again when someone started bodysurfing just to my left. Hands and fists were in the air and now several bodies were overhead, moving from one end of the crowd to the other. One of the guys who’d been bouncing from person to person as he surfed the crowd suddenly fell and took half a dozen others down with him. Then a fight broke out and all hell broke loose. There was nowhere to go and no way to protect myself so I held on to what I could of the barricade, praying I didn’t go down.

  Once you hit the floor it was too easy to get trampled and I dug in my heels, trying to avoid it. Someone big and sweaty hit me in the side, dislodging my grip and sending me flying. I landed on one knee and pain shot through my leg. Someone banged into my chest and I screamed, desperate to twist out of the way before I was crushed. But there was nowhere to go and the person on top of me wasn’t moving.

  This wasn’t going to end well if I didn’t find a way to get up, and I shoved at the guy with all my might, but it was no use. He was probably two hundred pounds of muscle and not budging. It occurred to me I might die, and then the music stopped and the lights came on.

  10

  Stu

  I’d seen fights break out at concerts before, but never one in a club like this where I was close enough to see what was happening but was helpless to stop it. I’d been starting to get a bad feeling just before the fight broke out, and I looked around, hoping to get security involved, but there was no one in my line of sight and I was mid-song. I kept my eye on Lindsay, though, because she was right up front and was starting to look uncomfortable. At first I thought it was great fun that she wanted to be in the front row, but I was beginning to worry about her safety.

  I looked down at her just as the big bloke with the Van Halen T-shirt slammed into her side and then she disappeared beneath the throngs of people. I swung around to Lexi but she’d already seen it and was making a slashing motion with the flat of her hand, wanting us to stop
playing, and I instinctively handed my guitar to Sasha, who happened to be the first person I saw in the wings. Then I jumped down into the crowd.

  Lexi was at the mic now, and the lights had come up, but I couldn’t see Lindsay.

  “Everyone needs to settle down,” Lexi was yelling into her microphone. “The music, the show, everything stops if you’re going to fight. People are getting trampled. If you can’t control yourselves and look out for the people around you, we’re going home.”

  I was listening to Lexi’s tirade, but my eyes were on the ground, ignoring the people clawing at me, trying to get my attention.

  “Lindsay!” I yelled her name, pushing a few people out of the way as I got closer to where I’d last seen her. I caught a glimpse of pink fabric and surged in that direction. “Get the hell up!” I snapped at the guy lying across her chest. I rolled him to the side and knelt down, reaching for her. “Lindsay? Lass, are ye all right?”

  Her shirt was torn, there were a few drops of blood on her face, and her makeup had smudged, but when she fixed those big brown eyes on me, I’d never been so relieved in my life. I lifted her in my arms and growled at a couple of women who were tearing at my shirt. “Get out of the way!” I pushed through the crowd that was finally starting to settle down and just kept walking until I got to the backstage area. I didn’t care about the show, the band, nothing but Lindsay. I’d never forgive myself if something happened to her.

  “Does she need paramedics?” someone yelled.

  “Yes!” I yelled back.

  “No,” she whispered.

  I put her on the couch in the backstage area and knelt beside her. “Can you breathe? Where does it hurt?”