ZAAN (Sidewinders: Generations Book 1) Read online

  ZAAN

  Sidewinders: Generations

  Kat Mizera

  Copyright © 2020 by Kat Mizera

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Editing: Tera Cuskaden, Ashley Martin

  Cover Design: Dar Albert, Wicked Smart Designs

  Cover Model: Wayne Skivington

  Cover Photography: Wander Aguiar

  Created with Vellum

  Contents

  Also by Kat Mizera

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Epilogue

  Excerpt from “The Sidewinders’ Siren,” found in the short story collection “Las Vegas Sidewinders: Ever After.”

  Also by Kat Mizera

  Las Vegas Sidewinders:

  Dominic

  Cody’s Christmas Surprise

  Drake

  Karl

  Anatoli

  Zakk

  Toli & Tessa

  Brock

  Vladimir

  Royce

  Nate

  Sidewinders: Ever After

  Jared

  Dmitri’s Christmas Angel

  Ian

  Sidewinders: Generations:

  Zaan

  Tore (TBD)

  Anton (TBD)

  Alaska Blizzard:

  Defending Dani

  Holding Hailey

  Winning Whitney

  Losing Laurel

  Saving Sara

  Chasing Charli (2020)

  The Royal Trilogy:

  Nowhere Left to Fall

  Nowhere Left to Run

  Nowhere Left to Hide

  Royal Protectors:

  Sandor

  Xander

  Dax (A Royal Protectors/Sidewinders crossover) (2020)

  Axel (TBD)

  Inferno:

  Salvation’s Inferno

  Temptation’s Inferno

  Redemption’s Inferno

  Tropical Inferno (formerly “Tropical Ice”)

  Romancing Europe:

  Adonis in Athens

  Smitten in Santorini

  Lucky in Lugano

  Other Books:

  Special Forces: Operation Alpha: Protecting Bobbi (Susan Stoker’s Special Forces World)

  Special Forces: Operation Alpha: Protecting Delilah (Susan Stoker’s Special Forces World)

  Brotherhood Protectors: Catching Lana (Elle James’s Brotherhood Protectors World)

  Prologue

  Three Years Ago

  I paced restlessly. Tonight’s show had gone well, but something was off. I practically felt the bad vibes moving through my veins as if they were part of my blood. The last four weeks had been the wildest, most incredible, scariest, and most unsettling days of my life. While it had been amazing to be onstage with a group that was as hot as Special Kay was right now, every tabloid rumor about them was frighteningly accurate. They partied like nothing I’d ever seen, and while I’d never been one to cave to peer pressure, they’d been relentless in their attempts to draw me into their shenanigans.

  The drinking age was lower in Europe than in the U.S., so I wasn’t breaking any laws by imbibing with my bandmates, but after recovering from breast cancer less than a year ago, I was extremely careful of what I put into my body. I exercised, meditated, and tried to eat healthy. Drinking had been fun the first few nights, but after that I was bored with it. When I’d first explained about the cancer, the other girls in the band had been cool, but now they teased me about how health-conscious I was. The lead singer, Kay, whose real name was Annie Cromwell, was the worst of them all. One of the sound guys told me it was because she was intimidated. I was brand new but had become popular quickly, so it kind of made sense, but I didn’t know what that meant beyond the band not liking me that much.

  “Let’s go, ladies!” Bernie Stohl, our tour manager, motioned to me and one of the other girls. “Bus leaves for the hotel in five.”

  I grabbed my backpack and tossed it over my shoulder as we headed in that direction. Although our costumes and gear were handled by the road crew, I kept a backpack with me that was locked up while I was onstage. For some reason, I felt safer keeping important things with me; my passport, wallet, a change of clothes and a little cash. I was making good money for this gig, but it was all deposited in an account in the U.S., so I had my father’s American Express card for emergencies and the little bit of cash I’d brought with me. We each got a small, daily cash stipend for incidentals, but I didn’t buy much other than a few souvenirs I’d managed to grab. Not that I had much in the way of free time. We rarely stayed in any one place more than a day, two at the most.

  Settling into my seat at the back of the bus, I pulled out my phone. My boyfriend, Zaan, was on the East Coast of the U.S. today, which meant he was only six hours behind me time-wise, and I sent him a text.

  LEXI: Hey. You busy?

  ZAAN: Just got to the arena. We play Philly in a couple hours.

  LEXI: Oh, okay.

  ZAAN: You okay?

  LEXI: Just a rough night. No biggie. When’s your next day off?

  ZAAN: Tomorrow’s a travel day.

  LEXI: For us too. Let’s try to make a plan to talk.

  ZAAN: There might be a practice, but any other time I’ll drop whatever I’m doing. If you give me a time, I’ll call you.

  LEXI: That would be great… I’m struggling.

  ZAAN: You’re not okay—you want me to call now? I’ve got about ten minutes.

  LEXI: No, I’m fine. Go play. Love you.

  ZAAN: Love you too.

  “Texting the boyfriend?” Kay dropped into the seat next to me, startling me.

  I stuck my phone in my pocket, nodding. “Just checking in.”

  “He’s a cutie.” Kay was stoned out of her mind, her eyes glassy and bloodshot. I wondered how she’d gotten so fucked up so soon after the gig, because she hadn’t seemed intoxicated at all during the performance.

  “He’s a good guy.”

  “You willing to give him up for this?” Kay motioned with her hand.

  I raised my eyebrows. “I’m only here for two more weeks.”

  Kay didn’t seem to hear me as she laced her fingers through mine, stroking my arm softly with her other hand. “I know I’ve been a bitch, but the truth is—I’m jealous.”

  “Of me?” I shook my head. “Why? I’m gone in two weeks.” I was only supposed to be here as a stand-in for one of the girls who had laryngitis and was struggling to get her voice back. This was an all-girl band that focused on vocals and dance routines, a cross between Britney Spears and the Spice Girls, wit
h some Backstreet Boys rounding out the sound. Pop wasn’t really my thing, but they were huge and this had been the opportunity of a lifetime.

  Kay smiled, closing her eyes. “Honey, your whole life is about to change.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Listen to me, okay?” Kay’s eyes popped open and she was suddenly perfectly lucid. “The other girls are rough… They’re going to try to suck the life out of you, but don’t let them. You’re prettier, smarter and more talented than all of them put together, so you hang on to that. And when they offer you the contract, fight for your share. Don’t be dumb like me—don’t let them screw you over.”

  “Kay, I don’t think they’re going to offer me—”

  “Just listen!” She squeezed my hand harder. “They’ll be here in a minute…”

  “Okay.” I was confused. What contract? What was going on?

  “Tayla’s the one you have to watch the closest…” She straightened her arm and pulled up her sleeve. “You see these tracks? She’s the one who turned me on to H, sucked me right down the black hole with her, so you keep away from that shit.”

  “Wha—”

  “And Marj will pretend she wants to mother you, but she just wants to give you terrible advice so she’ll look better than you.”

  “I don’t—”

  “Pam isn’t a bad person, but she’s got her head so far up Marj’s ass, she’ll do anything Marj tells her to do, so keep that in mind. And Bernie’s going to try to get in your pants, but put him in his place right from the beginning—mention Karin and the kids.”

  “He’s married?” Bernie had already been hitting on me.

  Kay laughed. “Oh yeah. Three kids back in Chicago. Just tell him you can’t wait to meet Karin and he’ll back off.”

  “Are you quitting the band?” I asked softly, staring at Kay almost sadly.

  “Shit, emotionally I’m already gone.” She pulled a cigarette out of her pocket and managed to light it.

  I wrinkled my nose in distaste but didn’t say anything. This was so out of character for Kay, I was basically rooted to the spot, listening to her.

  “Anyway, the biggest thing is your contract—make sure they’ll let you write your own songs and put a little rock in this pop-ass shit. I heard some of the stuff you were working on last week at the studio and it’s fucking gonna rage. The fans’ll eat it, and you, right up.” She took a deep drag of her cigarette and blew rings with the smoke. “I know smoking’s bad for me, but it don’t matter anymore.”

  “You sure you’re okay?” I asked softly, wondering if the rumors about Kay going solo were true.

  “I’m good, better than ever.” Kay squeezed my hand and slowly got to her feet. “You’re a nice girl. Stay that way. Don’t let these bitches get to you.” She dropped the cigarette and ground it out with her feet. “Ma sistahs!” She stumbled towards Tayla and Marj, who’d just come in, a bottle of tequila appearing out of nowhere.

  I sighed as I watched Kay morph from drunk, thoughtful Kay to wild, obnoxious Kay. She’d probably had way too much to drink and wouldn’t even remember our conversation in the morning. With a scowl, I dug my headphones out of my backpack and turned on some music.

  I woke in the morning to someone banging on my hotel room door. Yanking on a robe, I fumbled for my phone and scowled. It was only seven thirty. I’d barely slept four hours and I yanked open the door in annoyance, glaring at Bernie.

  “What is it?” I demanded, leaning against the doorframe.

  “Kay’s gone.” He was so matter-of-fact that I wasn’t sure what he meant.

  “Huh?” I fought a yawn.

  “Dead, Lexi. Kay’s dead.”

  “What?” I froze, staring at him. “What happened?”

  “She OD’d. Tayla woke up and found her on the floor.”

  “Oh my god.” A cold chill crawled down my spine and I couldn’t help but shiver. Guilt shot through me simultaneously. Kay had practically told me she was going to die and I’d missed it, too wrapped up in my own issues to give much thought to her behavior. I was sad and mortified, my stomach a little queasy as I asked, “What should I do?”

  “Stay in your room. Don’t go anywhere, don’t talk to anyone, and stay off the internet. You understand?”

  I nodded. I shut the door and crawled back into bed, pulling the covers up around me since I was suddenly freezing. Without thinking, I called Zaan. He was probably in bed, although there was a good chance he wasn’t asleep yet.

  “Babe?” He answered instantly.

  “Zaan.” My voice broke. “Kay’s dead.”

  “Kay… What?” He sounded as dumbfounded as I felt.

  I told him about our strange conversation the night before. “And now she’s gone. It’s like she knew and was begging me to stop her.”

  “Don’t do that,” he protested mildly. “There was no way for you to know. Addiction is a terrible disease.”

  “But why didn’t she ask for help?” I whispered.

  “I don’t know,” he admitted. “I don’t have an addictive personality, so it’s not something I understand, but from what I’ve read, they can’t usually admit they even have a problem.”

  “I feel like I should’ve done something… I should’ve known something was up!” I was fighting tears and disparate emotions because while I didn’t like her very much, she was way too young to die.

  “There was no way for you to know she was going to OD. She probably didn’t know either.”

  I broke down, sobbing into the phone.

  “Damn, baby, I wish I could be there.”

  “Me too.” I sniffled into my pillow.

  “What can I do?”

  “Nothing.” I took a breath. “I’ll probably be coming home in a few days now, so I guess that’s the silver lining.”

  “I’ll make you forget all about Special Kay.” He spoke softly.

  I sniffed out a little laugh. “You have no idea how much I’m looking forward to that.”

  “If you need to talk, I’ll be here. I need to get some sleep, but if you need me again later, it’s okay to wake me up.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Night, babe.”

  I fell into a restless slumber, tossing and turning for a few more hours until I was awoken by my phone buzzing on the pillow next to me. I jumped, putting it to my ear without looking to see who it was.

  “Yes, hello?”

  “Lex, it’s Bernie. Meeting in my suite, twenty minutes.” He disconnected.

  With a grunt, I put the phone down and padded into the bathroom. After I’d washed my face and brushed my teeth, I pulled my hair into a tiny ponytail. It was still short after going bald from chemotherapy two years ago, but there was finally enough to pull it away from my face. I wore a wig onstage, but I didn’t care what I looked like right now. Yanking on jeans and a sweatshirt, I slid my feet into a pair of Keds and grabbed my phone and room key.

  I got to Bernie’s suite just as Marj and Tayla arrived. Marj appeared to have been crying, but Tayla was stoic, her face a mask of nothingness. I wanted to shake her, ask her what the hell was wrong with her, but I didn’t have it in me to fight with her. Not now. Instead, I sat in a chair at the far end of the room as Bernie paced and the band’s manager, Klaus Heinz, joined us via conference call.

  “We have decisions to make,” Klaus said. “We have two more weeks of this tour and we’re already contracted to do another album. My suggestion is that we become a four-piece, instead of five, to finish this tour.”

  “Kay’s body isn’t even cold yet!” Tayla yelled. “What’s wrong with you?”

  “I understand that, and we’ve postponed a few shows to give all of you a few days to grieve and rehearse, but—”

  “I’m going back to college after two weeks,” I said.

  “You and I will talk privately, Lexi,” Klaus said. “In the meantime, you should all take a couple of days to practice some self-care and grieve. Once we talk to the venues and se
e when we can pick up the tour, you’ll need to start rehearsals. I’ll be there in the morning.”

  He disconnected and everyone turned to stare at me.

  “What?” I asked, unsure of what was going on.

  “You’re about to become a big star, Lexi.” Bernie smiled and this time it was genuine.

  “Bitch.” The look on Tayla’s face was one of pure hatred.

  I had no idea how my life was about to change.

  1

  Lexi

  Present Day

  Music was my favorite mind-numbing distraction, but sometimes it didn’t help. Sitting in my sectioned off portion of the tour bus, even with noise-cancelling headphones and music playing through my laptop, I still felt the bouncing of the seat on the other side of my bunk, someone jumping up and down. Another night on tour. Another night of hell. I was so tired of this. So tired of them.

  Someone yanked open the curtain and Tayla’s hottie-of-the-night wiggled his flaccid penis in my direction. With an exasperated sigh, I jerked the curtain closed again. Boy toy stuck his pecker through the seam and I resisted the urge to swat it; I simply refused to touch something so vile.

  “Come play with us, Lexi!” Marj opened the curtain again and I read her lips.

  I shook my head, reaching for the curtain. “No, thanks. I’m working.”

  “You’re always working,” Marj whined.

  “Working to make the rest of us look bad,” Tayla hissed, peering over Marj’s shoulder. “Thinks she’s hot shit.”