Pause (ROCK HARD Book 2) Read online

  I ached to invite Stu to come too, but he hadn’t reached out since our night together, so I wasn’t going to make the first move. He’d made it clear there wouldn’t be more than one night, no matter what Lexi thought, and I wouldn’t push him for more. I desperately needed an orgasm, though. Sure, I took care of that myself most of the time, but I’d been too busy and exhausted to think about masturbating these days.

  I was up early on the Fourth, anxious to study for a few hours before Lexi came over, but I’d no sooner had my coffee and bagel when the doorbell rang and I heard her calling from the front of the house.

  “Hey!” I walked into the living room and ran to hug her and Ariel, who’d come with her.

  “I hope you don’t mind my tagging along,” Ariel said, “but Lexi didn’t think you’d mind and we thought it would be fun to hang out for a few hours.”

  Ariel had gone on tour with the band, as had Zaan, since there was no hockey in the summer.

  “What are the guys doing?” I asked casually.

  “Well, Tyler and Zaan were sleeping when we left,” Lexi laughed. “Stu was at the gym. We didn’t see Bash or Ford at all. They were headed to the bar when we got in last night and we all know what that means.”

  “The Banger Brothers are at it again.”

  The three of us laughed. Ford and Bash had earned the nickname because they were constantly on the prowl for women and tended to share them these days. It happened so often the band had given them the nickname and even I knew about it.

  “Since you’re going to see Stu tonight, we’re going to a spa,” Lexi announced. “Don’t give me any shit about studying either. Everyone needs a break and you’ve been at it nonstop for over a month. A day to refresh will be good for you.”

  “Nothing is going to happen tonight,” I protested. “If Stu was interested, he would have called or something.”

  “He’s interested,” Ariel said. “I don’t know what his hesitation is beyond the fact that he considers himself damaged goods.”

  “Damaged goods?” I frowned. “What does that even mean?”

  “It means he thinks because he has a criminal record, spent time in prison, all of that, he’s not worthy of anyone’s love.”

  “Does he?” Lexi asked in surprise. “Why didn’t I know that?”

  “Stu and I…talk,” Ariel said softly. “We got close last year when I was going through my shit and I think he recognized the broken part of me because he sees it in himself. Except I now know that I’m not really broken, and Tyler was a big part of me figuring it out. We just have to find a way to show Stu that he’s not broken either.”

  “I don’t think I’m the one to do that,” I said, sinking onto the couch.

  “Is she always this negative?” Ariel asked Lexi, shaking her head.

  Lexi chuckled. “Only when it comes to men.”

  “It’s time to change that.”

  “You guys are crazy,” I said. “Anyway, are we going to a spa or what?”

  Lexi and I had been friends long enough that I knew when she would and wouldn’t back down, and spa days were our thing. I hated that it was always her treat, but she made a lot of money and I was basically a starving student. Luckily, we were close enough that she would never make me feel bad about it.

  Lexi and Ariel had to meet up with the band for sound check and they’d decided to drag me along with them, so after our day of getting pampered, I’d gotten dressed for the night and got in a cab with them. Ariel went to find Tyler and I went with Lexi to her and Zaan’s hotel room where she would change before we headed for the club.

  I was a nervous wreck now, knowing I’d see Stu on the bus in a few minutes. I’d probably die inside if he ignored me or just gave me a polite greeting, so I was steeling myself for the possibility. I felt pretty today, though. We’d gotten manicures, pedicures, facials, some crazy body scrub that made my skin feel like velvet, and a massage that left me more relaxed than I’d been in months. On the flip side of that, I’d dressed for comfort tonight. I was going to be on my feet, singing and dancing for hours, and it was the middle of summer.

  Instead of dressing for rock and roll, I’d dressed for summer. Cute white shorts, a strapless pink top that was flowy and loose, and white sandals that laced halfway up my calves. I hadn’t bothered with foundation or anything since my skin looked so nice today, and just used eyeliner, mascara, and pink lip gloss. I’d been walking almost every day and read out by the pool a few days a week, so I was tan and healthy, and while Stu was still the man of my dreams, I wasn’t going to pretend to be someone I wasn’t on the off chance he might want to get laid again.

  Casual sex was fine here and there—and I’d be all in if he wanted me—but he had to want the real me. Casual, down-to-earth Lindsay. I occasionally wore something sexy to fit in with Lexi’s world, like I had on my birthday, but it wasn’t my norm. Tonight the band was in Minneapolis, which was my world, and there wasn’t going to be another night with Stu if he was expecting some wannabe groupie.

  Besides, I’d already told myself that nothing was going to happen, so it didn’t matter what I wore.

  “Lindsay!” Tyler waved and came over to give me a hug as we walked out to the waiting tour bus.

  “Hey, Ty.”

  “How’s the studying going?” he asked.

  “Good.” I nodded. “A lot of work, but hopefully this will all be over in three weeks. The test is the last Tuesday of the month and I just want to get past this.”

  “Hey, Linz!” Bash came around the corner wearing nothing but shorts and sunglasses. Damn, he was hot. Not as hot as Stu, but definitely a sight to behold without a shirt.

  We all chatted as we got on the bus and I was surprised to see someone already there. Sasha Kingsley looked up with a friendly smile and waved. I wasn’t sure what she was doing here but figured Lexi would tell me later. As far as I knew, Sasha was learning the ropes and going to take over the record label that had signed Nobody’s Fool, Random Hart Records. Her mother was Casey Hart, who’d formed the new record label specifically to sign Nobody’s Fool. I didn’t know the details, but Sasha was only twenty-two and had just graduated from college, so no one knew exactly how it was going to work.

  “Am I late?” Ford asked, bounding up the stairs of the bus and looking around.

  “You’re here before me,” Stu said, coming up behind him.

  My stomach clenched and my mouth felt like cotton all of a sudden, but when Stu’s gaze landed on me, his eyes crinkled a little as he smiled.

  “Well now, you’re a sight for sore eyes, lass.” He leaned over and brushed his lips across mine.

  “H-hi.”

  That was literally the only word I could manage to formulate as I gazed up at him, and I couldn’t even say it without stuttering a little. Goddamn, he was hotter than ever and my gaze immediately dropped to his crotch. He was dressed down right now, in jeans and a T-shirt, but he still looked good enough to eat.

  He sank down on the seat beside me. “How’s things?”

  “Good. Busy.” I managed to look at him.

  “How’s the job hunt going, Linz?” Tyler asked.

  “The firm where I interned last summer said they’d like to talk to me once I’ve taken the bar, but I don’t know if I want to go back there. It was a really high-stress, toxic environment. I got lucky working for one of the junior partners there, who was nicer than the others, but I saw a lot of things that made me wary.”

  “Have you ever considered entertainment law?” Sasha asked. “Mom said at some point we’re going to need in-house counsel. It’s a few years down the road, but that timing might be perfect for you.”

  I knit my brows together a little. “Honestly, I never thought about entertainment law at all. Living in Minnesota, it wasn’t really on my radar. I’ve been focused on corporate law, probably something in mergers and acquisitions.”

  Lexi made a face. “That is so boring.”

  “What does a mergers and acquis
itions attorney do?” Stu asked, looking right into my face like he really wanted to know.

  “Well, it’s overseeing the legal aspects of merging businesses and/or subsequently selling them. There’s also a part that helps businesses acquire other businesses. There’s a lot of detail-oriented work, including tax law as well.”

  “Boring,” Lexi stage-whispered.

  “Well, not all of us can be famous rock divas,” I teased, sticking my tongue out at her.

  She stuck hers out back.

  “Color me impressed,” Zaan said. “That’s pretty amazing, Lindsay. We’re real proud of you, no matter what Lexi says.”

  “She knows I’m proud of her,” Lexi said, smiling at me. “But entertainment law would be so much more fun. Then you could be my lawyer and I’d be one of the only people in the industry with a lawyer I trust.”

  “I trust mine,” Ariel said. “The lawyer who helped me with my situation last year, Madeline Aronson, is amazing. Maybe you should talk with her, Lindsay. Not for a job since she’s in California, but to get some perspective on other aspects of law. Because I have to agree that mergers and acquisitions law sounds boring.”

  I was about to say something sarcastic but Stu’s denim-clad thigh brushed against my bare one and I forgot what I’d been about to say. Jesus, why was he sitting next to me? A few more minutes of sitting like this and there was a very good chance I’d do something spectacularly embarrassing.

  8

  Stu

  This was going to go wrong a thousand ways.

  Just sitting next to her had me sporting a semi and every time our eyes met, I felt an almost irresistible urge to touch her. She’d practically jumped out of her skin when our thighs brushed together, telling me she felt it too.

  Bloody fucking hell.

  This was such a bad idea.

  Yet no matter how many times I told myself that, my body betrayed me.

  Just once more, I decided. I had no doubt she wanted me at least half as much as I wanted her, based on her uneven breathing and the way she tried not to make eye contact, so what harm would it do? Maybe we’d just get it out of our systems and go on with our lives. She had a brilliant future in front of her, as a lawyer no less, and I had high hopes for the success of Nobody’s Fool. But the future big shot corporate attorney wasn’t going to get involved with a convicted felon, so this would be the best way to get past this insane attraction between us.

  Luckily, we’d just arrived at the club and I had to think about sound check.

  “I’ll see you later, yeah?” I asked her as we got off the bus.

  “I’ll be here.”

  I took off after Bash and Tyler, leaving her with Ariel and Lexi, who were following more slowly. We had to do our sound check now, at six thirty, before the club opened at eight. Then we’d have a light dinner provided by the club while we waited to play at nine. These types of gigs were long and boring, with more time waiting than performing, which I always hated. Waking Wonder’s last tour had been opening for a big-name band on an arena tour. That had been nice. Sound check around five, dinner either backstage or back at the hotel, and then we’d get on stage at eight. We were done by nine and had the rest of the night to party and hang out. Sometimes we’d hit the road and travel to the next gig, but it varied enough to keep it interesting.

  This tour had been a bit of a drag so far. I understood we needed to pay our dues, and for me especially, I’d do almost anything to get back to where I’d been before the accident. But that didn’t mean it was easy. And I usually got into trouble when I was bored. Too much alcohol. Wild women. Many of the things that had gotten Freddie and me in trouble once upon a time.

  Sometimes I still missed him. His easy laughter, the way he blew symmetrical rings when he smoked, the way he loved his much-younger siblings. All that gone now because he’d insisted we take the new Ferrari for an alcohol run. One bad decision that had changed my life forever and ended his.

  I shook off my melancholy thoughts and grabbed my guitar, ready to do the sound check and then get something to eat. Maybe there was even time for Lindsay and me to have a quick shag. Preshow sex was the best. Got me revved up in a way nothing else could.

  “I’m fucking starving,” Bash grumbled, walking past me toward his drum set. “I could go for breakfast.”

  “Fuck yeah,” I agreed. “Let’s do that after the show, go somewhere and have a full-on breakfast.”

  “Denny’s,” Tyler said.

  “Cracker Barrel if they’re open?” Lexi suggested, walking on stage. She and I high-fived because that was our favorite place for breakfast since we’d been on tour.

  “Do you need a set list?” Sasha called out to us, walking on stage and looking around.

  “Not for the sound check,” Tyler told her. “But right before the show you’ll need to put copies there—” He pointed. “There, and there.”

  She was our tour manager for this short tour, giving her a bird’s-eye view of how it worked from start to finish. So far, she’d done a good job making sure the venues provided everything in our contracts and that we got paid. Tyler was keeping an eye on things and Casey checked in with her daily, and since Casey had financed our new album and gave us the financial backing to do this tour, I was okay with letting her daughter learn the ropes.

  Sasha was a good lass. Smart, efficient, and definitely not looking to hook up with anyone. I wasn’t sure what she did in her private time, of course, but when she was with us, she was all business. Sometimes a little too serious, if you asked me, which no one did. She was only twenty-two, so it seemed like she should be having a bit more fun. Instead, she was working all summer and my understanding was that she was also taking online classes toward her master’s degree.

  I’d barely finished high school, so I was impressed by all these people in my world now who had fancy educations. Especially Lindsay. Everything about her seemed to impress me lately, which was why I needed to bang her into the middle of next week and then move on. She was better off without me and I didn’t need the distraction.

  By the time we’d done the sound check and headed backstage to relax, our dinner had arrived. We kept it light this close to showtime since a heavy meal would make it impossible to perform, but soup, sandwiches, and salad kept us from being too hungry and kept our expenses down to boot, since we paid for everything, one way or another. This tour wouldn’t be much of a moneymaker, but it would get our name out there. If we got enough of a buzz going, there was always the chance we’d get picked up by someone who needed an opening act for an arena or stadium tour.

  We were all in good spirits as we ate and hung out before the show. I was starting to get antsy, never good at sitting still, and when I saw Lindsay slipping out of the room, I got up to follow her. There was a private restroom backstage so I wasn’t sure where she was going, but I couldn’t resist the urge to talk to her away from the others. I had no idea what I had to say that was private, but I followed her nonetheless.

  She went to the bar and ordered a drink, tapping her foot lightly as she waited for the bartender to pour what I assumed was a glass of prosecco since that seemed to be her go-to drink. And even from here I could see the guy behind the bar flirting with her. He had that look, one that said he was into her, smiling and leaning closer as they talked. Lindsay took a step back, a clear indication she was uncomfortable, and I quickened my step to get to her.

  “Hallo, love.” I slid an arm around her shoulders as I grinned at the bartender.

  “Hi.” She looked surprised and grateful, a soft smile on her lips as she looked at me. She put money on the bar and turned to me once the bartender took his tip and left.

  “Having fun?” I asked her.

  “Any time I get to spend a day with Lexi, it’s fun.”

  “Not quite as special as your birthday, eh?” I hoped my teasing tone didn’t deflect from what I was hinting at.

  “Not quite.” She dipped her head shyly.

  “I could t
hink of a few ways to make it fun.”

  Her eyes snapped up to mine, a question lurking in the dark depths. “Are you flirting with me, Mr. Killorn?”

  “Aye. I am, Ms.…” I faltered. “I don’t know your last name.”

  She laughed. “Sager. S-A-G-E-R.”

  “Well, Ms. Sager, I am, indeed, flirting with you.” I put a hand on her hip. “Is that all right?”

  “Yes. Very all right.”

  “I’m not going to lie,” I said, slowly running a finger along her chin. “I’ve thought of little else but tasting those sweet lips again.”

  Her eyes widened slightly, as if that surprised her, but then she narrowed her gaze a little. “Don’t lie to me, Stu. The sex thing is fine—you made it clear that’s all it was from the beginning—but don’t make it sound like I’m someone special. I’m sure you’ve tasted plenty of lips in the last five weeks.”

  “Not true,” I replied. “I haven’t kissed a single woman since you.”

  She looked dubious, her eyebrows knitting together, but then she smiled. One of those brilliant, million-watt smiles that lit up the room. “I think you’re full of shit, but I like hearing it anyway.”

  “Wouldn’t you rather do it than hear it?” I whispered, leaning closer.

  “Absolutely.”

  Sweet Jesus. It was like she was talking directly to my dick. It was already at half-staff and if I got even another centimeter closer to her, I was going to lose all my resolve to keep things simple. But god fucking dammit, I wanted her so much it hurt. That plump lower lip. Those long-lashed caramel-colored eyes. Those tits. Jesus, my cock was pretty much at full attention now and I wrapped my hand around the base of her neck.

  Then our mouths crashed together and we were off to the races. I’d almost forgotten how exquisite it felt to taste her, and everything disappeared when her tongue sought out mine. The club, the gig, my rules, every fucking thing but her. Why did she impact me this way? I had no idea what was going on, but I had to have her. Here. Now. It didn’t matter where or how, but her sweetness was consuming me.