Nowhere Left to Hide (The Royal Trilogy Book 3) Read online

  “I’m sorry, Mom.” I kissed the top of her head, fighting my own wave of emotion. Damn, I couldn’t cry, but I sure as hell wanted to. “I would have told you but…”

  “I know. Your father explained.” She glanced at my dad. “He’s still on my shit list.”

  I managed a faint smile. My parents never stayed mad at each other for long, though I imagined my mother had a few choice words for my dad when she found out.

  I wrapped my arms around her and held her tightly, even though it was really her holding me. Being raised as part of the royal family meant avoiding a lot of public displays of affection, so it had been more than two decades since my mother had held me like this, and I felt it deep in my soul. I never wanted it to end, and she must have known that because she took my hand and led me to the couch, pulling me down right next to her.

  “Tell me everything,” she said, not letting go of my hand.

  I settled in next to her, taking a second to compose myself. “I have an adopted daughter, Eleanor. We call her Leni.”

  “Adopted? Why adopted?”

  “Because…” I frowned. “We literally found her on the side of the road and her parents were dead. It was either take her in or put her in an orphanage in Turkey and it just didn’t sit well with me.”

  “I heard about Liz’s adopted daughter, of course. How old is she now? Eight?”

  “Nine.”

  “Will I be allowed to be her grandmother or is this another one I have to love from a distance?”

  I sighed. “I don’t know yet, Mom. I haven’t had time to sort anything out.”

  “I’m still trying to understand what’s going on with your marriage. You’re married to Liz but—”

  “In name only. The marriage has never even been consummated.”

  I’d definitely caught my father off guard and my mother narrowed her eyes slightly. “So there’s no emotional attachment beyond parenting a child.”

  “We’re friends and business associates, but no, there’s nothing romantic between us.”

  “And now she’s in love with Jayson.”

  “Yes.”

  “Didn’t you realize something like this could happen if your wife was carrying on with Casey’s husband?”

  “You think I knew about this?” I shook my head. “Believe me, no one was as surprised as I was.”

  “Have you spoken to Casey?”

  “We tried, but…” I shook my head. “She lost it.”

  “She lost it?”

  “She was upset, to say the least. But I get it. I did a terrible thing to her.”

  “What are you going to do to fix it?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “She needs you, Erik. She’s never been the same since you left.”

  “There’s more at stake than how we feel about each other, and frankly, based on her reaction last night, I don’t think she feels the same.”

  Mom rolled her eyes. “I thought men matured by the time they hit their thirties? If she didn’t still care about you, silly, she wouldn’t have had a reaction like that.”

  Leave it to my mother to put me in my place.

  “I know everyone wants answers, but I don’t have them. I have to talk to her, after she calms down, but when it’s all said and done, nothing has changed. Although we can probably pass Luke off as Nick’s son even if I come out of hiding, Anwar won’t rest until I’m dead for real this time.”

  “You’ve had eleven fucking years to come up with a plan!” Mom snapped. “And you still don’t have one?”

  “Sweetheart—” Dad began.

  “You shut up.” She gave him a look and he sat back, shaking his head. Then she turned back to me. “Get that sniveling little prick out of power and either take his place or find someone else more suited to the job. Sandor would make an excellent leader. Not as good as you, but a billion times better than Anwar.”

  “Mom, I can’t just—”

  “Yes, you can. You see, this is why none of us were read in on the plan. Because you knew we would have taken action. Would it have gone badly? Maybe. No way to know. But your plan didn’t go so well either. We still would have protected Luke by pretending he was Nick’s son, but faking your death and all the rest? That was a terrible plan.”

  I stared at her, unsure what to say. She had a point, but isn’t everything twenty-twenty in hindsight?

  “You should book a flight to Crete,” she said finally. “And then I want to spend some time with my newest granddaughter. Make it happen. I don’t really care how.” She hugged me again, tighter than she ever had before, and slowly rose to her feet. “I love you, son, and nothing has made me happier than having you back, but you have a lot of messes to clean up.” She squeezed my arm and left the room, my father a few steps behind her.

  “Why am I going to Crete?” I asked him.

  “Because that’s where Casey will be.”

  9

  Casey

  I was leaving on a noon flight, but I was up early in the morning to try and get some time with Luke. Something was bothering him and I needed to know what it was. We’d always been close, but he’d been acting funny since the accident and I wasn’t sure if it had to do with knowledge of who his biological father was, the accident itself, or something else.

  I made his favorite breakfast—banana pancakes—and waited for him to come down to the kitchen as he got ready for school.

  “Good morning,” I said softly.

  “Morning.” He looked surprised to see me. “Did you make pancakes?”

  “I’m leaving for Greece so I thought I’d spoil you before I left.”

  “Mom, your arm,” he protested mildly.

  “I’m okay.” I put a plate in front of him and watched as he immediately dug in. The boy could sure eat.

  I didn’t say anything until he was almost finished and then I rested a hand on his shoulder. “Is there anything you want to talk about?”

  He met my gaze. “Not really.”

  “Come on. Something has been bothering you and I wish you’d tell me what it is so I can stop worrying.”

  “It’s just…a lot.”

  “What’s a lot?”

  “Everything. What we talked about on Friday. The accident. Jayson in the hospital. Everything.”

  “I know. That’s why I wanted to talk.”

  “Everyone at school is talking.”

  That was news to me, but I kept my tone neutral. “About what?”

  “Jay.”

  “What about him?”

  “That he gambled away all our money and gave it to some woman he was cheating on you with.”

  I winced on the inside but was shaking my head. “What have I told you about listening to the tabloids or kids at school?”

  “But it’s true, isn’t it? I heard Dad and Skye talking about how Jay was fooling around with Aunt Liz.”

  I sighed. I wasn’t prepared for this conversation. “Well, he absolutely didn’t gamble away all our money. He did lose a little money, but nothing for you to worry about. We have plenty.”

  “But he cheated on you?”

  “I…” Fuck. How was I supposed to answer this? He was only eleven. He couldn’t possibly comprehend the complexity of the relationship Jayson and I had, nor could I explain about Erik and Liz. “All I can say right now is, we’re working on our marriage. It’s really complicated.”

  “How are you going to work on it from Greece?”

  Damn kids. Way too astute for their own good.

  “I need a little time to think first, and honestly, after the accident, I want to go somewhere I can relax. You like our house in Greece, don’t you?”

  He nodded. “Yeah, I guess, but sometimes it gets boring with just me and the twins, and Sasha isn’t coming.”

  “She’ll come for a week.”

  “With her boyfriend.” He made a face. “It won’t be fun for me. I wish I could bring a friend.”

  “I wish some of your cousins were boys,” I sa
id, ruffling his hair. He was in need of a cut, but it hadn’t seemed like a priority the last few weeks. “Uncle Loco said he’ll take you to that kids’ club in Chania, and maybe you’ll find some kids your own age to hang out with, okay?”

  “I guess.” He reached over and hugged me. “I’m sorry you’re so sad, Mom. I hate when you’re sad.”

  “I’m okay, kiddo. Really. Once we get to Greece and I breathe in some ocean air, get a little sun, maybe write some music, I’ll feel better.”

  “Are you going to be sad if you get a divorce?”

  “Probably, but we’re nowhere near to that point yet. Just promise me you’ll tell people who talk about our family to mind their own business.”

  “I will.”

  “I’ll see you next week, okay? Be good for Marisol and Uncle Loco and study for your exams.”

  “I’m always good and I always study.” His impish smile was back and he reached for his backpack.

  “Ready to go?” Sandor had probably been listening but that was okay; I didn’t have anything to hide. Certainly not from him.

  “Are you picking me up after school?” Luke asked him, our conversation already forgotten as he walked out.

  My phone rang and I looked down at Tyler’s name flashing across the screen. In our years together on tour, he’d become like the younger brother I’d never had and I adored him. He’d called and texted a bunch of times since the accident, but other than telling him I was okay, I hadn’t had a chance to talk to him, so I answered this time.

  “Hey.”

  “How’s it going, girlfriend?”

  “Ugh.”

  “Is he really cheating on you?”

  “How the fuck does everyone know that?” I demanded.

  “It was on CMZ,” he said, referring to a television gossip show. “There’s been an unidentified blonde—that’s not you—in Jay’s room at all hours of the day and night.”

  “Jesus fucking Christ.” I let out a huff and poured myself another cup of coffee. “Luke heard about it too.”

  “Oh, hell. At school?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Shit. I’m sorry, hon. What can I do?”

  “I’m leaving for Greece in a couple of hours—want to go?”

  He laughed. “If you want me to come, I will, but I think you need a little down time. Loco going with you?” Sandor’s nickname had really stuck.

  “I’m leaving today. The kids have finals next week, Monday through Wednesday, and then they’ll be on a plane the next day with Loco and Marisol.”

  “What are you gonna do?” he asked, his voice soft. “I mean, is it over?”

  “Jay and me?” I couldn’t tell him about Erik, so it was hard to elaborate. “Probably. I know who she is and I’m pretty sure it’s serious.”

  “And the band?”

  “There’s about a million dollars on the line for the band, so he better find a way to suck it up and get back on the road,” I muttered.

  “What about you? Are you going to be able to suck it up? And what about the kids?”

  “Honestly, Ty, I don’t have any answers right now. My body hurts and my brain is on overload. I want to get to our house in Greece and veg for about a year until I can think like a normal person again.”

  “Then go do that. The tour and everything else will wait.”

  “I hate to do this to you guys.”

  “Don’t worry about us. Bash and I talk every day and we’re good. We’re just worried about you guys.”

  “As soon as I know something, I’ll let you know. For now, he’s got a long recovery ahead of him and, as far as our marriage goes, well, I don’t know that we can save it but it’s too soon to make that call.”

  “I’m really sorry.”

  “Just do me a favor and deny any rumors. I have to keep a tight rein on this until we settle things and the kids are prepared. They’re my main concern.”

  “It might be too late for that, but no one will hear anything from me.”

  “Thanks, Ty. Really. But I have to get ready to head to the airport.”

  “Love you, girlfriend.”

  “Love you more.” I disconnected and smiled. My friendship with Tyler and Bash was solid, something that was important to me. Ty and I had been friends before we’d formed Pretty Harts, but being in a band together had changed everything and made us even closer. Bash was a great guy too, and the three of us often got into mischief on tour. Without Jayson.

  I felt a twinge of guilt as I thought about how many ways I’d shut him out. It hadn’t been intentional, but at some point, our marriage had gone sideways. It would be easy to blame myself and say that my yearning for Erik had been the reason, and while that had been a part of it, it wasn’t all of it. I would have come around. Hell, that was the reason I’d agreed to marry him, because I had started to come around. For a brief period of time, between when the twins were born and we’d gotten married, things had been really good. The nonemotional problems had all stemmed from money.

  I had it and he didn’t. It didn’t get much more black-and-white than that, but that’s what had started it. From his reluctance to buy our huge, custom-built home to the kids’ private school to my royalties from Viktim of Prey. He wanted to go fifty-fifty on everything and the first few years, that wasn’t possible. Real money, in the millions, hadn’t started coming in until the end of that first tour. Before that, it was all loans and playing catch-up. Me because of my long hiatus between projects and him because he’d never had much of anything, period. He’d inadvertently wanted me to go backward, to live like I wasn’t already a big star with money, royalties and a certain way of life.

  I wasn’t a diva. I liked jeans and concert T-shirts just as much as couture gowns, and frankly, anything couture in my closet was limited and for very special occasions. I had maybe three pairs of shoes that cost more than two hundred dollars and the most extravagant thing I owned had been my Corvette. It irked him that we’d decorated the new house using only my money and he’d kept detailed records of every single item we bought. When the first big paychecks had started to come in, he’d transferred that exact amount of money into our joint checking account and insisted I use it for all household expenses until it was gone.

  He’d fought me on putting the twins in a private preschool, and it had been Sandor who’d finally talked some sense into him, explaining about crimes of convenience and the idea that someone might realize who they were and kidnap them simply to demand a ransom. When the house two doors down from my special vacation rental in Crete had gone up for sale, he’d said we didn’t need it, that we didn’t have time to enjoy a beach house in Greece. I’d bought it anyway, which in retrospect probably had been the beginning of the end for us. It was such a small thing in the grand scheme of our lives, but he’d been furious. That time it was his mother who talked him off the ledge, reminding him that just because they’d struggled when he’d been growing up, didn’t mean he couldn’t enjoy life now.

  I thought about all of these things and more on the flight to Athens, the subsequent flight to Crete and as I unpacked in our big, beautiful bedroom. I loved our mansion in Las Vegas, but I practically worshipped our house in Greece. We’d renovated it to modernize the basic system, add central air, update the bathrooms and kitchen, and expand the deck. Ironically, Jay hadn’t had a problem with the expansion and seemed to enjoy coming here as much as I did. Our European tours were almost always in the spring or fall, so we could take a nice chunk of time either at the beginning or the end to come here. Two weeks out of every year was spent here, sometimes three or four depending on what was going on, and it was my happy place.

  Our housekeeper, Penelope, had stocked the refrigerator for me, freshened up the bedding and made sure the pool was cleaned and ready to go. She took care of the place year-round and it was nice to arrive at my home away from home without having to worry about cleaning or grocery shopping. My favorite acoustic guitar, the one I’d always borrowed from Antonis, now sat
on a stand in the great room. Antonis had left it to me when he’d passed away last year.

  I’d come to Greece for the funeral because it had been the week between Christmas and New Year’s. Ironically, that had been when Jayson had taken the kids skiing and had apparently begun sleeping with Liz.

  Nope. I wasn’t going there. Not tonight anyway.

  I took a shower and pulled on shorts and a T-shirt. I’d figured out how to get a shirt on before leaving home because I’d known there wouldn’t be anyone here to help me for a few days. As always, Sandor looked out for me, and I knew there was someone guarding the house and adjacent beach area, but I didn’t know who and didn’t care. I’d asked Sandor long ago why he stayed with us since Erik was long gone and we were relatively safe. He’d told me he had nowhere else to go and it had been Erik’s dying wish that he take care of us, so he would do that as long as I needed or wanted him to. I wasn’t sure I needed him anymore, but I definitely wanted him around. Luke and the twins were extremely attached to him and I had a feeling his relationship with Luke was special because he was Erik’s son.

  I poured a glass of wine and wandered onto the deck. The sun was going down and I was exhausted after traveling all night and through the day, but I would stay up a little longer and hopefully sleep well tonight. I’d managed to avoid thinking about Erik too much out of sheer necessity, but now that I was here, alone, it was already starting to creep in and haunt me.

  Erik was still alive.

  He’d stood in my living room, with his fucking wife—who, oh by the way, was a good friend of mine but also sleeping with my husband—and acted like we could have a calm, rational conversation. Yeah, not so much. I was angry about so many things it had been hard to focus on the one positive in all of this: Erik was alive. My love, my soulmate, Luke’s father. He’d lied to me and crushed my soul, but he was back. I just didn’t know what that meant.

  I sat on the steps leading down to the beach and stared at one of my favorite sunsets in the world. I’d fallen in love with him here and this was our special place, where I’d always felt closest to him. Now I just felt dirty, as if my memories had somehow been soiled, and my broken heart had started to beat again, if for no other reason than pure anger.