Xander (Royal Protectors Book 2) Read online

  “How would I know? She hates me more than anyone.”

  “I don’t think she hates you. I think she’s unhappy and you’re the easiest person to take it out on. Did you know she was looking for a job in France?”

  I’d had no idea and I gazed at him in surprise. “No. Really? She’s leaving?”

  “She mentioned it when she was sick but we didn’t want to push it.”

  “She’s your sister. Can’t you just ask her?”

  Sandor sighed. “We were separated, the whole family, for nearly eleven years. She was completely on her own and I think…maybe…she resents me for it. Our oldest brother, Vardan, was killed by Anwar, and as her new oldest brother, I should have taken better care of her. She had money and we had ways set up to contact each other should it become necessary, but I made it clear it was safer for her to have nothing to do with any of us. All the years on her own…no family, no true friends to speak of, she wandered the globe doing odd jobs and whatever struck her fancy. I think she’s angry about it and I don’t blame her, but I also don’t know how to make it better. How do I fix eleven years of keeping her alive by pushing her away?”

  “Elen is many things,” I said slowly, “but stupid isn’t one of them. She knows that. Deep down, even if she’s hurt and angry about the way things went down, she knows why you did what you did. The key, I think, is showing her that you’re not going to let her go again. That she’s important to you. And maybe that’s what’s missing. Erik came back from the dead and claimed his woman, his son, his throne. In the process of helping him get all those things back, you found Lennox and your place within the organization. Daniil is a man and his position as Minister of Defense isn’t given a second thought. And all of you, except Elen, had some sort of family in those years. You had Casey and Luke, not to mention your aunt and uncle, so you were never alone. Daniil had Jesper and the kids, and Erik married Liz and adopted Leni. Elen had nothing all those years. I’m sure it’s been more of an adjustment for her, and the way she’s treated by the old fucks at Parliament, well, that would piss me off too.”

  “Do you know who?” Sandor asked, scowling. “She doesn’t want to say, but I’d like to have a word with a few of them.”

  “I know for a fact Senator Novak is pretty combative whenever she speaks. I’ve given him side-eye a few times, and he backs off physically, but he never shuts his mouth.”

  Sandor made a face. “Senator Novak and I are going to chat.”

  “Well, if you do, you didn’t get it from me because she’ll have my balls for breakfast if she thinks I made her look weak to her brother.”

  Sandor clapped me on the shoulder as he got to his feet. “What are you talking about? I haven’t spoken to you all day.”

  6

  Elen

  If my brother scheduled another drill, I was going to kill him. I was a lot better and starting to get my strength back, but I didn’t feel like myself and all the downtime I’d had left me feeling lonelier than ever. Something had to give but I wasn’t sure what, and a dozen different things went through my mind as I did some yoga this morning. I wanted to start running again, but my lungs probably wouldn’t take it, so I wasn’t going to push myself.

  After finishing my light workout and showering, I sat at my dressing table and stared in the mirror. The woman who stared back was a bit of a stranger. Same aquamarine eyes, same shoulder-length dirty-blond hair, same features, but there were lines now that I’d never seen before. A slight crinkling at the corners of my eyes that made the woman looking out at me appear older, less happy, strained. A veritable stranger.

  I stared back at her, as if something might change if I looked hard enough. But this older, tired-looking version of Elen was still there and I realized how much I disliked her. Me. How much I’d come to dislike myself. I’d never imagined becoming a bitter, bitchy spinster who hated people, but somehow it had happened. Or at the very least, it was happening. Everything about my life right now made me miserable, and I had to do something about it. I didn’t know what or when or how, but it had to happen before I lost my sanity.

  I couldn’t plan anything just yet, because I had a senior staff meeting, so I slapped on some makeup before heading down to Erik’s private conference room just after one.

  “Get a lot done this morning?” Xander asked, falling into step beside me.

  “I think so.”

  “I’m supposed to have the afternoon off,” he said. “Do you think you’ll need me the rest of the day? If you’re going out, I have to be with you.”

  I shook my head. “I’m not going anywhere. The meeting with Erik and the others will probably go through dinner, and then I’m going to try to get to bed early since we need to be at Parliament by eight tomorrow.”

  “Okay, text me if anything changes.” He left me with a wave in front of the conference room and I watched him go for a moment before going inside.

  “Hey.” Sandor looked up at me.

  “Hi.” I kissed the top of his head and squeezed Daniil’s shoulder as I sank into a chair between them.

  “By the way,” Lennox said, leaning over. “We’re planning a trip to New York soon. It’s the easiest way for us all to do dress fittings with Alexa. My sisters can’t get enough time off to come all the way to Limaj just for a fitting, so we’re going there.” A woman named Alexa Humboldt was designing her wedding dress and all the bridesmaid dresses.

  “Just let me know,” I told Lennox. “I love New York.”

  Erik’s chief of staff, Jesper, called the meeting to order and passed out our agenda. At the top of the list was the name Omar Daishel. He’d been the bane of our existence since Erik had come back into power, and we knew at least one of the threats on Erik’s life had been orchestrated by Omar. He’d also gotten close to Casey’s oldest daughter and generally made a nuisance of himself. We believed he’d tried to kidnap Erik’s oldest son, Luke, back in December and he was one of many reasons I worried all the time.

  “Omar is a menace that needs to be eliminated,” Ace said quietly.

  No one said anything because we all knew he was right. He was the threat that kept on threatening, but a planned hit was an uncomfortable topic for most of us. Maybe Ace had no issue with it after nearly two decades in the CIA, but to me anyway, it was an unfathomable topic. Erik probably was okay with it too, since the threat to him included threats to everyone he loved, but this kind of danger was one of the things that bothered me about my new life.

  “How do we reconcile ourselves to this new reality?” I asked quietly. “I love all of you and would die if anything happened to any of you, but how much do we sacrifice to be who we’ve become?”

  “We haven’t become anyone,” Sandor said, meeting my gaze. “This is who we always were. We went into hiding so we could come back and do this, reclaim our places here and do good for both our people and others around the world.”

  “But the threats never go away,” I whispered. “I don’t know what to do with all of this. I’m scared. Always.” I looked up guiltily. “I don’t want to be this person, but the fear is starting to take over everything…and I don’t know how to fix it.” Tears filled my eyes and I turned away, frustrated and embarrassed.

  “It’s okay.” Sandor reached for my hand and Daniil put a hand on my shoulder, rubbing it gently. “We’re all scared.”

  “But you’re not,” I protested. “You’re trained to protect yourself and your family. I mean, I can hold my own in a bar fight or even against a purse-snatcher or something, but Omar? Actual assassins? Guns and bombs and secret tunnels and midnight drills? This is like living in a third-world country…”

  “Because we are,” Erik said gently. “As much wealth as we have personally, and as hard as I’m working to change it, we’re simply not a first-world country. My kids can’t even go to school here because there isn’t one. My wife went back to the U.S. to give birth because in the event of a complication, we didn’t trust the medical facilities here. I’m put
ting my personal money into some of the infrastructure we’re constructing because the people need so much. This is our reality. I’ve taken it on willingly—it’s what I’ve been working toward all the years I was in hiding—but you don’t have to. None of you.” He looked around. At Daniil and Jesper, Ace and Joe, Lennox and Sandor, and me. “You guys don’t have to, and I don’t want you to feel any kind of pressure to stay. I do this because, for whatever reason, I have to. For the rest of you, it’s optional, and Elen, if you don’t feel I can keep you safe, it’s okay for you to go back to your old life, the one you had while we were all in hiding.”

  I swiped at my eyes. “That’s just it. I don’t have anywhere to go anymore. I was a bit of a nomad while we were all exiled. I don’t have a home that isn’t here. Here is also where my family is. I’m just so tired of being afraid and I don’t know how we do this long-term.”

  “We don’t,” Erik responded with a sad smile. “Which is why I’m putting together a new intelligence agency and hired some of the best people I know to protect us. I hate that you’re afraid, Elen, and I’ll do whatever it takes to fix it. Do you want to leave? I can have your identity changed, give you a new passport, new everything. I never, ever want you to feel trapped.”

  I sighed, resting my chin on my fist. “But I don’t want to leave. I just don’t want to be afraid all the time.”

  “Would you like to carry a gun?” Sandor asked quietly.

  I grimaced. “I don’t know.”

  “I can teach you a dozen ways to kill someone with just your hands,” Lennox said.

  “And I’ve already learned a bunch of them,” Casey added with a teasing smile, though I had a feeling she was serious.

  I couldn’t help but smile. I wondered why Casey and Lennox were so relaxed about the constant danger and I wasn’t. Lennox had the benefit of having been in the military, but Casey had been a rock star up until a year ago. Why were they seemingly unaffected while it was almost all I could think about anymore?

  “Sis, what can we do?” Daniil asked softly.

  “I don’t know,” I admitted. “It’s exhausting.”

  “It’s lonely for you,” Casey said thoughtfully, watching me. “I’m scared sometimes too, but I have Erik at my side, every day and night, reminding me that we’re in this together. That we have a goal, a purpose. Maybe you need to find your purpose, the thing that makes you get up every morning.”

  “I lost that a long time ago,” I whispered. “I went into hiding right after university, so I took my fancy degree and pedigree and disappeared. I taught in third-world countries, bartended for a while, worked with some charities…but there was no purpose other than staying alive long enough to overthrow Anwar. Now that he’s gone, I’ve thrown myself into helping Erik rebuild, but honestly, I never wanted to be a politician and now that I am, it’s not what I was expecting.”

  Everyone chuckled in agreement.

  “So finish this term,” Erik said, “and think about what you want to do next.”

  “Your degree is in teaching, right?” Casey asked.

  I nodded. “But I’ve never taught beyond the small villages where I taught kids to read. That’s not the same as being a real teacher in a classroom.”

  “Is the job at the Sorbonne still on the table?” Sandor asked me.

  I nodded. “Yes, but I don’t know that jumping in at an institution as prestigious as the Sorbonne is a good starting place. They’re looking at me as Princess Elen, what insight I can give into being European royalty. They’re creating a History of European Royalty class as an elective, specifically so I can teach it.”

  “Then teach at the new school here,” Erik said. “What better way to see how you like being in a classroom?”

  Everyone was quiet, looking at me, and the obviousness of it was a little embarrassing. How come I hadn’t thought of that?

  “Think about it,” Erik said when I hesitated. “In the meantime, if you’re feeling a little better, let’s skip talking about Omar for now and focus on the grand opening of the school. Once we’ve nailed down some of the dates and details, we’ll move to other topics and give you a little time to sort through whatever’s on your mind.”

  “Thank you,” I said, nodding.

  We worked and talked through dinner and into the early evening. By seven o’clock, I was ready to get going and we broke for the night. Erik and Sandor would be at the meeting of Parliament tomorrow, so I didn’t have to worry about anyone being an asshole, but it still wasn’t something to look forward to. I also had a lot to think about. While I’d been considering teaching at the Sorbonne, I hadn’t really thought about the new school here. Teaching at the university level, especially when it was a course about the history of European royalty, something I not only knew about, but actually lived since I was a princess, wasn’t the same as helping to mold young minds. I didn’t have much experience with the latter and it was somewhat daunting.

  I’d done student teaching while I’d been at the university, but I wasn’t licensed anywhere, not even here in Limaj. Our certifications weren’t very rigorous anymore, and it was something we wanted to change, but I wondered where I would fall in that regard. There were a lot of details going through my brain, which left me wired.

  I was tired but not sleepy, so instead of going to bed, I wandered to the kitchen in search of a snack. I had a small refrigerator, microwave and a basket that held fruit and such in my room, but I was in the mood for something else tonight. Mostly, I wanted a cigarette, but it was a bad habit and I’d started using it like a crutch the last few months. It was bad for my lungs and time to stop indulging myself that way.

  I’d just found a basket of homemade sweet rolls, something our cook made daily because everyone loved them. They were native to Limaj, with a hint of cardamom and brown sugar. They weren’t too sweet, which I liked, but enough to be a treat. I wrapped one in a napkin, planning to take it up to my room when a voice made me jump.

  “If you took the last one, I may have to challenge you for it.”

  I whirled around and then laughed at the look on Xander’s face.

  “There’s one more,” I said, reaching back into the sealed plastic container and tossing the roll to him. He caught it with one hand and grinned.

  “Thank you.”

  “You love them too?” I asked.

  “It’s a good thing I have the metabolism of a twenty-year-old,” he responded. “These things would be the death of me. I could literally eat them all day long.”

  “I know.” I bit into mine, sighing happily, and he did the same. Our eyes met and we both grinned.

  “You’re a bad influence on me,” he said.

  “Me?” I raised my eyebrows. “I didn’t tell you to come into the kitchen.”

  “Yeah, but I might have come to my senses if you hadn’t had one in your hand.”

  “Uh-huh. Keep telling yourself that.”

  We leaned against the counter and ate in companionable silence, something different for us, but also nice since butting heads with him drove me crazy.

  “Not tired?” he asked.

  I shrugged. “Really wired after the meetings today.”

  “I’m glad I’m just a bodyguard,” he said.

  “How did a pretty boy like you become a bodyguard?” I queried, glancing at him curiously.

  He smirked. “The Marines don’t care much what you look like as long as you can do the job.”

  “How long were you in the Marines?” I asked, taking another bite of my roll.

  “Six years.”

  “And then?”

  “Then I went to work for Joe.”

  “Never interested in attending university?”

  “What makes you think I didn’t do both?”

  I tried to do the math in my head, but realized I had no idea how old he was. That was kind of embarrassing, so instead I merely shrugged again. “I guess I didn’t think someone would be a bodyguard if they had other choices.”

&
nbsp; 7

  Xander

  “I have lots of choices,” I said, trying not to get angry. “As do your brothers.”

  “Sorry, didn’t mean to offend you.”

  We’d been having a nice moment and, as usual, she had to ruin it. She was one of those women who was hard to read. I’d done everything but stand on my head to get in her good graces and she wasn’t having it, as if us being on good terms would hurt her in some way. Now she’d resorted to veiled insults, and that was one thing I didn’t have to put up with.

  “You absolutely meant to offend me,” I said, scowling at her. I stood up to my full six-foot-one-inch height. “And it’s not cool. You don’t like me? Fine. I don’t particularly give a shit. But your life is in my hands, so how about trying to be a little more polite, since I doubt you’re capable of actually being nice. I’m simply trying to do a job here and I’m really good at it. You’d be well-served to remember that.”

  I turned on my heel and stalked out of the kitchen. Technically, I wasn’t on duty until the drill started, she was safe within the palace walls, and I’d had about enough of her. All I wanted was to see if I could catch a football game going on back in the U.S. or some other mindless way to wind down, but unbeknownst to her, we had another drill coming up. So there would be no relaxation for me, and another epic battle was about to start.

  I had fifteen minutes before I had to grab her, so I used the restroom and drank a bottle of water. I checked the time on my watch, tapping my foot impatiently until the faux alarm went off, and I took off from my room and headed to hers. It was only a few doors down, and I heard her coughing even before I got there. I silently cursed Sandor’s brilliant idea for another surprise drill. This was a different type of drill, so Elen would be even more pissed than usual. This one was geared specifically for getting various staff and crew to safety without alerting the guards there was an issue. A test in case there should ever be a question of loyalty or a revolt of some kind.